I received insightful feedback to the Rules Of Engagement post. I appreciate the stories shared...the laughter, the tears, sitting outside of his house and setting fire to his clothes...really I do, but I have to ask: How did we hop, skip and jump to already dumped? The way it jumped from a handful of harmless "flirt" tips into "The Triflin' Life" passed much too quickly for my tastes. So I started asking questions. (I'm kinda good at that.) Here is what I found out: Despite the fact that he's at a school/museum/car dealership/club/BBQ/gym/Krogers/Stop light/Funeral by himself, he could have a woman at home! (Yes, these are all 100% true!) We'll discuss his culpability, trust me, I have enough rocks to toss all the way around, but by 25, identifying his "situation" shouldn't be so complicated. And if it is...you're hiding something from yourself.
|The Ring or Ring Tan|
This is how the conversation goes:
You: What do you do for a living?
Him: What are you, a gold digger?
|His CIA Job Is So Demanding |
That It Only Takes Place On The Couch
Or In The Bedroom!
Him: Naw girl...you know, this club/FBI/CIA/Promotions job got me trippin'...workin' crazy hours and stuff. Come here, lemme rub yo feet.
If you don't know where he works, you won't show up and make a scene. And if you DO find out...you're a stalker. That's called the "JumpOff Lose/Lose Situation".
He's Got The Worse Luck...Everyone He's Ever Known Prior To You Is Dead!
You've met his mother...but she doesn't remember your name. (Translation: He brings EVERYBODY by Mom's...she's a playa, she watches "The Game".) You've met ALL his male friends and they think you're SO funny and charming. (Translation: He told them how easy it was to "hit" and they're waiting their turn.) You've met his children on the exact same night he has to go out of town on "business". (Translation: Hello Unpaid Babysitter!).
Dear G~d...You know your mama & 'nem gonna ask. YOu know your Pastor is going to want to know. You know you're dying to ask how he spends his Sunday mornings. Is he sitting in the lotus position chanting? Rockin' pajamas til 3 p.m.? A 3 piece suit & gators in 100 degree weather? A tambourine and a single ponytail? A bowtie and bean pie? Exchanging handshakes with the Illuminati or Tom Cruise? Perhaps his beliefs (or lack thereof) never entered the conversation. There's a reason for that. He doesn't want his wife wondering who the recipient (you) of his EXTRA LONG hug is and why she's a stranger to her, but overly familiar to you.
Anybody got a match?