Friday, January 7, 2011
Let me be the first to snap you back to reality and say NOT SO FAST...
You are not ready for love
I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
Technically, love doesn't hide from anyone. Most of the time, it's standing at the end of your nose and fairly close to a mirror. That's right! It begins with you, so if you're hiding from yourself, guess what? You're not ready for love...
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
Are we talking about love here, or jail time? Actually, both. While being in love with another human being (yourself included) isn't the equivalent of doing a bid, an amount of freedom IS relinquished. Consider this for a second... If you didn't love yourself (at least a little), you'd be free to do any and every variation of dysfunctional, harmful and downright death inducing things to yourself because *shrug* who cares?!! It's only worthless little old you! Instead, even at our most base, parts of human nature (and self love) require a bit more thought and responsibility...which can compromise your freedom to self destruct at will. Still with me? Good, because this is the thing about being in a loving relationship...it requires two people willing to relent to each other occasionally. And once there, you're somewhat captive to the idea of remaining "in love".
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
I'm sure there is someone right this very minute rolling their eyes heavenward and exclaming loudly, "love isn't supposed to hurt"
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing
I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here
If you're ready for love, you're going to have to SHUT UP! (Yeah, I said it!) True Confession Time: I'm a bit persnickety. Some of my favorite things in life are watching the lines left in my carpet by the vacuum cleaner, swooning over a completely clean kitchen and tossing out old things that I no longer use. My "partner in time"
If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
I mentioned this briefly, but lets expound, shall we? This is India's DEFINITION! At some point in your life, you're going to have to turn off the music and create your own song. Personally, a man who thinks with his heart would be STEAMROLLED by yours truly. I'm impatient, spoiled and strident...and left to handle a man whose brain and heart have changed places would only leave both of us damaged. Someone who is ready for love, realizes what they want their version of love to be. My song would be a bit different and involve 50 year old Scotch, clean fingernails and planned spontenaity. What's yours?
I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
If you've somehow found yourself in a relationship and you want to figure out if it's love, here's the easiest test. What have/did you learn? I'll wait...
Here with an offering of
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
Another simple love test? What are you willing to give of yourself? Again, I'll wait...
I am ready...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Or perhaps, you two are attending a function and your shutter happy friend insists on snapping photographs of you unaware preparing for their life as a member of the paparazzi. Or may, it's just something that happened and once again, yourself and your mate are freeze framed into the annals of time for family, friends, and facebook to fawn over. Either way, at some point in your relationship, there will be pictures of you with your significant other (and if there isn't...well, that's another post for another day). You'd be surprised by what your pictures are saying...
It's pretty simple to deduce that couples who have multiple face to face photos probably spend the majority of their time gazing longingly, lovingly and lastingly into each other's countenances...but not so fast. Watch what those eyes are doing before you assume ever lasting adoration. This is the thing. Couples who enjoy each other, tend to look directly at each other. Not over shoulders, at some random point to the left, right, above or beneath of their paramores.
Body language speaks volumes.
This last one can be a tad tough to decipher. On the one hand, a picture of a couple all snuggled together can signal their complete rapture with their union. But there are one or two hallmarks that can point to a couple's possessiveness. An arm casually slung over a partners shoulder? Cute. An encircling body blocking, semi~suffocating gestue? Scary.
One thing's for sure...you'll never view Facebook photo albums the same...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
1. The Work Place Stalker
Monday morning is difficult enough to face without being concerned about an obsessive pair of eyes hovering over the edges of your cubicle or that a knock on the door is going to put you face to face with the one person who makes you more uncomfortable than R. Kelly at a Junior High School dance. The workplace stalker demonstrates his/her slightly offputting behavior based on how contrived his/her reasons for visiting your work area more than 12 times a day. The work place stalker is there with your morning cup of coffee with the perfect cream to sugar substitute ratio because they've watched you measure the concoction every morning for the previous 6 months. Instead of sending an email communicating due dates or scheduled team meetings, they find every reason to travel down 14 rows of cubes and 5 closed office doors to deliver the message in person...often reading from said memo in a sweaty shaking hand, while making the smallest of small talk and inquiring about your day, children, dog, goldfish, paper boy...which wouldn't be so bad, if they didn't do the same thing EVERY Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
This type is far more difficult to spot if he/she is content with simply lurking around your favorite social media networks. The problem is, this type is usually progressive in their stalker tendencies. It starts with quiet, little harmless mooning over your profile picture. A bit of lurking never harmed fair maiden nor gent. But then it gets worse. They've finally worked up the nerve to type a "LOL" after some random, hastily flung witticism and you responded! The flood gates of passion can't be contained in the internet stalker when you employ the smiley face. At that point, your pictures, inbox and status are all subject to the one person in the world who can't seem to get enough of you...
3. The Emotional Stalker
The emo stalker comes with paperwork. Ever have that one friend who makes the weirdest sexually inappropriate jokes, but you're willing to overlook it because when you need to vent, they're the "go to" person? Here's a clue: That person ACTUALLY thinks you're the beeknees and is too
And what if you're the person being ardently pursued? Stop being so damned alluring, witty, charming and irresistible...and if all else fails, wear something comfy. That trunk ride to the country can get pretty bumpy!