Wednesday, August 11, 2010
African American Women seem to have gone group crazy. With the positive role models we have like Oprah and Michelle Obama, something is still gumming up the works. Powerful women with the time, resources and a public image that says they're sensitive to the plight of womanhood and humanity either aren't speaking loud enough, are living on cloud 9 squared, or better able to handle their insanity, while the opposite side of the same coin is wasting time, potential and damaging a future generation of young ladies. I'm trying to understand, so I throw myself into "research" and a catchphrase keeps popping up with alarming regularity. "Daddy Issues" appear to be the culprit of our swan dive off the deep end. Daddy issues is supposed to explain Montana Fishburne's alleged decision to dive *ahem* head first into the adult film industry. Daddy issues is supposed to explain Maia Campbell's repeated, embarrassingly intoxicated appearances on various black gossip sites. Daddy issues are supposed to explain everything about Fantasia Barrino from her illiteracy, to her recently taped dalliances with a married man and alleged drug overdose of sleeping pills and aspirin on Monday, August 9th. What are "daddy issues"? How are they responsible for all this frequently recorded and re~aired misbehavior?
Poor unsuspecting Carl Jung got thrown into this definition, identifying recurring behavior in a woman's relationship with their father and her relationship with "her man". Daddy issues apparently manifest themselves through an uncontrollable (and esteem threatening) need to gain male attention...failing that, any attention will do. Obviously, we all enjoy being complimented, noticed for our positive attributes and congratulated on our achievements. But Jungian derived daddy issues drives a woman to desire complete and total WORSHIP. A willingness to debase one's self, cling to an unwilling partner, a failure to see one's value unless in or on the verge of a relationship, a lack of a social support system whose sole purpose is to grab you by the thong and whip you back in line when your thirst for attention becomes dangerous. In other words...two female friends with daddy issues can easily become a viral adult youtube clip involving a turtle, a handful of pecans and a freckled face midget that we all sit back and shake our heads at.
Starting with your three most current case studies, we can identify the things they have in common apart from being "fatherless". For the record, I put this word in quotes because somewhere on earth a man is responsible for expending approximately 10cc's. He may continue to fulfill his role of husband, or need improvements in the "fatherhood" department, but I admit, I respect that some of these men are willing to attempt to fulfill their roles. No parent is born with tech support and a parent guide. They did their best with what they knew at the time and in my book, that makes them a father, just as surely as an ill equipped mother, is truly a mother.
I love my sisterhood.
I wish we would speak louder...effectively.
and keep going...infinitely.